Finding Your Village: Why Mom Friends Are Everything

It is so important to find people who personally understand your "Mom" title.

Aside from family of course, your village of mom friends are going to be the ones who get you through those sleepless nights. You're up breast feeding in the night? Don't worry your mom friend is sending you a meme while rocking her baby. I can vividly remember my friend who was newly post partum sending me a text after midnight and I answered promptly. She was so shocked I was up too (lucky for me, we were going through a sleep regression at that point). It is in those moments of solidarity that can make Motherhood feel less lonely.

When you enter motherhood it is inevitable that some friendships may shift. It doesn't have to be a negative thing but, when you are in different seasons it isn't always easy to find ways to get together. With mom friends however, they will understand why you need to be at the park at 10 am. They will understand how kids can be feral before they even eat breakfast and you need an outlet. You will also find the places you hangout no longer align with your old life. Instead of aesthetic restaurants and cute cafes, you will be at parks, farms, Starbucks drive-thru (if you're lucky), libraries, and splash pads. You will need to make sure you have the right company to make these destinations more tolerable.

Now you may be wondering, how does one make mom friends? I understand exactly where you are at! I was the first friend in my friend group to get pregnant so mom friends weren't in arms reach. I enjoyed sharing my Motherhood journey on social media and this is where I made a lot of connections. Mom's from all walks of life would flood into my DM's and the comfort it provided was magical. I swear Motherhood connects women to a soul level, no one can understand and truly see you, the way they do. The sleepless nights, the sick nights, I always had a mom offering suggestions. Whether it be which sleep sack to try, how to shift wake windows, the best remedies for a cold, or just plain ole solidarity that they have been there before. If you are not keen on posting your personal journey that is totally understandable so, let me list out other ways for you to create these relations.

1. Challenge Yourself to Say "Hi" First

   
   

Trust me I know it feels weird! It is like rewinding back to school age and trying to make friends again or asking if you can sit at the lunch table. You will be surprised though, some moms really do love a little small talk and it could be a positive interaction that snowballs. As moms we don't always get adult interaction so I know for me personally, I am always down to chat when a mom approaches me! I have had some park interactions where you can tell the mom isn't as interested and that is okay too. Just take it slow and read how the conversation is going! Who knows, you may just make a new friend and a new friend for your little. Ask yourself, "what's the best thing that could happen?"

2. Join Facebook Mom Groups

This may be the millennial in me but the truth is, if you want to find the moms, they are on Facebook! I have joined the mom groups for my area code as well as my town, I have even joined groups for babies who don't sleep ( and lucky for me this has continued into toddlerhood!) From experience I will say sometimes you do need to weed through posts but typically it is moms supporting moms! Need birthday party venue suggestions? Best apple picking locations? Group park meet up? So many good suggestions and interactions to be had ( and you can do it from the comfort of your phone).

3. Attend the Free Activities Your Town Hosts

I don't know if this is niche because I am from a small town but, we have quite a few events that are free for littles! We have story hour offered at our local library which, I have had success meeting other moms at. It is also a great place to meet if you are testing out a new friendship! No pressure to talk too much yet and your children are entertained. I know our town also hosts a "Trunk or Treat" and "Winter Fest" which, is a great place to meet people or just have your child socialize! If you haven't, check your towns website and see if there are any events you have been missing out on.

4. Reconnect with Old Friends Who Are Now Moms

Some of my favorite mom friendships are the ones with girls I went to high school with! Having the common ground of high school and then also being a mom? It is a no brainer! Even if you don't hang out everyday or become the best of friends it is still someone you can easily relate to. As I said above, on social media I had so many positive interactions with girls I knew in high school and are mothers now, it really is a beautiful full circle moment. I have met up with a few moms to go to town events too and have always had such a great time!

5. Join a Class

This can be a Mommy and Me class or just a class for your little! When they are younger they usually make sure the parents are in attendance whether it is a sport or another type of activity. While your little is being entertained, this is the perfect time for you to work your social skills! Chat to the mom next to you, or make a joke about how your child is refusing to listen to instructions. At the end of the day moms are always looking for a little company and a little laugh!

Don't be afraid of rejection and if a friendship seems to be budding make sure to continue to nurture it! Mom friends will always understand the nuances of your life so don't be afraid of keeping them in the know. Relatability and realness is always key!